I tought it was about time for you to have a good laugh again. After months of browsing pictures, selecting them and editing the text to go with them (why do you think I posted so few these last months), I now present you:
ps ok maybe I didn't spent months preparing this. Haha I totally got you didn't I?
The most essential question in life:
Why do people wear clothes like this? Why do they let anybody see them in these clothes? Why aren't they all red of shame? Why did the designer took these clothes in fabrication in the first place? Why have they all a big smile on their face like they are the Belle of the ball (Not you Gaga)?
Let's take a look, shall we?
1. WHY, GAGA?
I love how this title is a little wordplay. Why? Gaga!
Let me say I could fill an entire post with pictures of this Lady (??). But that would be so boring for you guys to watch because she is the definition of art - as she call it- or desperate attention seeker- as I call it.
For example this ensemble. Beekeeper meets the Matrix meets diving suit meets person who should start sewing a back onto her clothes PLEASE WE HAVE SEEN ENOUGH OF YOUR ASS!!!
2. WHY, MY DEAR WATSON?
Why would you wear something that looks like the book with samples of curtains the lady gives you at a deco shop when you have hundreds of millions of $$$$$$$$$$$ on the bank?
And why would you wear white nailpolish on your toes PLEASE IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S 2003 THANK YOU
3. WHY, PUSSYCAT?
Why would she do this to herself? Because she is so pretty, she should be wearing clothes made of diamonds instead.
Did she wanted to do her niece who designs clothes and is desperate to break trough a favor? Is her star falling? Has she lost it? Was she drunk? Did she wake up and tought: "Hey, I should wear pieces of tissue today and make them totally assymetric that would be so cool I would totally rock that!!!"
But seriously why?
Let's not start about the shoes. Boots? Shoots?
4. WHY, ALEXA-I'M-THE-COOLEST-IT-GIRL-CHUNG?
Look at me people. I'm totally wearing Chanel, AGAIN. HAHAHAHA I bet you are all so jealous. I bet you can't even handle that Karly(because that's how I got to call him HAHAHAHAHA) is on speeddial on my Iphone (that I totally got for free HAHAHAHAH)
I bet I'm your biggest role model because hey look at what I'm wearing isn't it the best mix of vintage and rock&roll and trendy fashionista HAHAHAHAHA I'm so much better than all of you lousy people who have to work 16 years before they can afford this dress HAHAHAHA. Am I not the most interesting person on you laptop right now HAHAHAHA
5. WHY, MINAJ?
That actually rimes did you notice? Please read it again if you didn't notice
Yes I know it's on purpose. And I know she maybe is crazy or had a bad youth or took too many pills and that's the reason she's wearing this. Or maybe it's all of the reasons above, what would totally explain this.
She proably is the only person on the planet who can pull this off (yes that's a challenge for you Gaga). But WHY are her boobs almost falling out? That totally spoils the humor of this outfit for me!
Farmer girl who comes to the big city and is trying to impress people wearing something she thinks is appropriate for a red carpet event meets porno girl? I don't think so Minaj!!
6. WHY, EMILY?
Because she almost has the same name as me (the most beautiful name in the world thank you) I have to be a bit more friendly, but let me be blunt about this one (HAHAHAH I'm so funny you're dying, right?)
You look like a cheap secretary/hooker who is sleeping with her boss/pimp and went shopping with his creditcard, Emily.
ps and I know the sun is bad for your wrinkles, but please I think everyone would love to see a little more wrinkles instead of this vampire look.
7. WHY, SIMPSON-WENTZ OH NO WAIT IT'S JUST SIMPSON AGAIN
Hmmmmm but I think I've got the explanation for this one.
Remember how she is getting a divorce? And cut her hair and is trying a whole new look because she needs to reconnect with herself and forget about the past and look into the future?
Yeah, don't be fooled by that.
She is just dressing like a tramp to make her lawyers think she needs more money in the divorce because she can't buy normal clothes anymore. And because lawyers never read the gossip magazine (TRUE STORY) I bet it is working.
Well played Ashley!
8. WHY, GRIZZLY? OH PARDON ME I MEAN KYLIE
It totally rimes again just saying.
But I think I also have an explanation for this one!! This morning when she woke up and stood before her enormous dressing room she though: "Today I want to know what it feels like to be a man with a lot of chest hair". She look into her closet but couldn't find anything that would give her the experience of being a man with chest hair.
So she googled it and she ordered this dress online. When she read that it would take 2 weeks to be delivered she sent her assistent with a private plane to get it for her, and voilà, 3 hours later she knew what it felt like to be a man with chest hair.
And she totally liked it.
9. WHY, PERSON WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S GIRLFRIEND?
Why did you think it was a good idea to go to a party wearing this? I know you think you look like a Greek goddes (I bet you were aiming for Aphrodithe) but all we can think is: SHOULDERS
And I love that tought of putting some olive branches around your waist because that represents winning in the Olympics (TRUE STORY) and you wanted to show the entire world you won by getting Justin back but they totally look like feathers to me SORRY.
11. WHY, YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR WEARING THIS?
without the coat and the hair and the giant shiny thing on her head and without the hair and without the pearls and without the hair this actually might have worked.
12. WHY, AMERICA SHOULD PUT YOU BEHIND BARS FOR BEING SUCH A BAD EXAMPLE TO GIRLS EVERYWHERE
I can't figure out what she has on her head. Or why she is writing a book - do I see that right? Can she actually read or write because that would already be the suprise of the century.
But seriously why would anyone let this thing into his/her house/store/restaurant/plane/gym/swimming pool/train/....
13. WHY, IT'S TOO EARLY FOR CHRISTMAS?
Wauw this is just too much blingbling I can't handle it. En plus she is wearing the wrong (and too much) accesories and the shoes and color of the tights are SO wrong.
Why Blake, tell me!! (you can send me an email about it, or you can call me). I'd love to hear the explanation, the deeper filosofical meaning behind this.
But she scores a point for the contrast with the background. Well done!!
14. WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED MORE WILDLY, WILDE?
Maybe she wanted to match the decor ( imagine it was red like on the picture above then this would have looked much less boring).
But why is the tissue of her dress so shiny, and I don't mean that in a positive way. Why is she wearing a dress with such an ugly pattern in the first place?
But more importantly, can someone tell me why she looks so fat here?
HAHAHAHA I'm so superficial it's not even possible
16. I CAN'T ASK WHY BECAUSE I'M LAUGHING SO HARD I'M ACTUALLY TEARING UP RIGHT NOW